Cracking Everyday Problems: The S.O.D.A.S. Problem-Solving Method for Kids A Simple, Powerful Tool to Help Children Think Before They React
Cracking Everyday Problems: The S.O.D.A.S. Problem-Solving Method for Kids
A Simple, Powerful Tool to Help Children Think Before They React
By Dr. Franklin Edward Shoemaker, PhD, LMHC-QS, TF-CBT
& Tonya A. Sharrett-Shoemaker, MA
Dr. RAD: The Attachment Code Breaker™
Elevating Trauma to Trust (Mr. Ed’s Circle of Trust, Inc.)
Kids face problems every single day — on the playground, with siblings, at school, online, or when big feelings take over. For children who have experienced trauma, attachment wounds, or chaotic early lives, those problems can feel overwhelming. Impulsive reactions often take the lead because the brain’s “thinking” part has not yet learned a clear path forward.
That is exactly why we teach the S.O.D.A.S. Problem Solving Method.
This straightforward, five-step process gives kids (and the adults who love them) a practical roadmap for turning confusing or upsetting situations into clear, positive choices. It slows down reactivity, builds critical thinking, and helps children practice accountability in a supportive way — without shame.
What Does S.O.D.A.S. Stand For?
S – Situation (Problem)
Clearly identify the situation or problem that needs attention and resolution.
Be specific. What exactly happened? Who was involved? When and where did it take place? How did it make you feel?
O – Options (Choices)
List at least two (preferably three or more) possible options or choices in response to the situation.
Include both “good” and “not-so-good” ideas. There are no wrong answers during brainstorming.
D – Disadvantages (Consequences)
For each option, identify two or more disadvantages or possible negative consequences.
What could go wrong? How might this choice affect you, others, or the future?
A – Advantages (Rewards)
For each option, identify two or more advantages or positive rewards.
What could go right? How might this choice help you or someone else?
S – Solution (Positive Choice)
Carefully examine the disadvantages and advantages of every option. Then choose the best possible solution for the situation.
The goal is the choice that is most positive, realistic, and helpful in the long run.
Why This Works Especially Well for Kids (Including Those with Trauma Histories)
It externalizes the problem so feelings don’t completely take over.
It trains the brain to pause, evaluate, and choose instead of pure reaction.
It builds executive-function skills (planning, weighing consequences, decision-making).
It teaches that every choice has both upsides and downsides — a key lesson in accountability and resilience.
When practiced regularly with a caring adult, it becomes an internal “code” kids can run on their own.
A Real-Life Kid Example
Situation:
At recess, a classmate took my basketball without asking and wouldn’t give it back. I got angry and shoved him. The teacher sent me to the office and called my parents.
Options:
Shove him again next time and take the ball back.
Tell the teacher right away.
Ask him calmly to give it back and offer to play together.
Walk away and find something else to do.
Disadvantages (examples):
Option 1 → I get in bigger trouble; I might hurt him or get hurt; friends may stop wanting to play with me.
Option 2 → He might call me a “tattletale”; the teacher might be busy.
Option 3 → He might still say no; I might feel embarrassed if he laughs.
Option 4 → I lose the ball for the rest of recess; I feel frustrated.
Advantages (examples):
Option 1 → I get the ball quickly (short-term).
Option 2 → An adult helps solve it fairly; I stay out of physical trouble.
Option 3 → We might become friends or at least play together; I practice self-control.
Option 4 → I avoid a fight completely; I show maturity.
Solution:
I choose Option 3 first (ask calmly and invite him to play). If that doesn’t work, I go to Option 2 (tell the teacher). Next time I will try the calm ask before any pushing happens.
How to Practice S.O.D.A.S. with Kids
Start with small, everyday problems so the method feels safe and successful.
Write it out together the first many times (paper, whiteboard, or digital form).
Let the child generate the options and the pros/cons — guide, don’t dictate.
Celebrate the thinking process, not just the “perfect” answer.
Revisit the solution later: “How did that choice work out? What would you do differently next time?”
Over time, many kids begin running a mental S.O.D.A.S. before they react. That is when real growth happens.
Access the Interactive Tool
You can download and print the official S.O.D.A.S. Problem Solving Method worksheet (copyright © 2021 Mr. Ed’s Circle of Trust, Inc. / Dr. Ed Shoemaker, PhD, LMHC, QS) and use it interactively with your child, students, or clients.
ACCESS TO INTERACTIVE SODAS PROBLEM SOLVING METHOD
Parents, teachers, therapists, and caregivers are welcome to use this tool as a courtesy resource to support kids in building stronger decision-making skills.
For additional trauma-informed tools, curricula, books, and support programs that help children and families move from Snapped → Shifted → Solid, visit:
DrRADTheAttachmentCodeBreaker.com
or subscribe at DrRADTheAttachmentCodeBreaker.substack.com
Kids do not need perfect lives. They need practical tools that help them navigate imperfect ones.
S.O.D.A.S. is one of those tools — simple enough for a child to learn, powerful enough to change the trajectory of their choices.
Crack the code.
Shift the pattern.
Own the solution.
All glory to God.
Dr. Franklin Edward Shoemaker & Tonya A. Sharrett-Shoemaker
Dr. RAD: The Attachment Code Breaker™
Elevating Trauma to Trust (Mr. Ed’s Circle of Trust, Inc.)